But selfishness has a way of aborting our emotional evolution: she could never transcend the Cinderella’s stepmother archetype; lying and stealing to protect her children without ever realizing that I needed protection too instead she identified me as the enemy who must be kept out so her children could get more share of the pie.
My step-sister morphed into a shallow materialist cliche incapable of empathy or a conscience-- when I wrote about my inheritance, she sent me harassing messages, calling me a greedy or dirty woman ( because I asked for what should have been mine by Quran's decree)-- demonstrating her emotional vacuum and bad grammar!
But she is so intellectually stunted after being gaslighted by my father that altruism is beyond her limited emotional range so I didn't shed any tears.
I am sure they would throw anyone else in the abyss if it benefitted them monetarily.
The ego always wins by dehumanizing the other to justify its hunger; it creates a filter to distort reality.
I could still idolize her but my father’s abandonment of me created a black hole of anxiety in my life which was never filled up until I became a Sufi and depended only upon God!
When a child is denied a true home, he or she never feels safe anywhere even if they are financially comfortable, an anxiety gnaws at his insides which hollow him out
I can only pray that my father has found a judgment for all he did to my mother and me!
Only a complete belief in God rescued me from that pit my father and stepmother had pushed me into; I tried to take inspiration from Hazrat Zainab, battling Yazid. There are many small Yazidis in our lives; common people who commit acts of greed and justify it to themselves; people who laugh at karma or divine justice at Yazid did.
I am telling you my story as a morality tale; perhaps you are my step mother, protecting your children while confiscating the right of another motherless child; perhaps you are my father, disinheriting and disowning your own daughter to placate your wife; perhaps you are my step siblings, defrauding your sibling of inheritance and spending what was her right-----if you are any of these then stop and listen to your conscious because Karma and God's wrath will come after you in a mysterious way: your children will die, mysterious diseases wouldn't leave you alone and that ill-gotten money would bring you no happiness except misery and tragedy.
Don't listen to the voice of Nafs inside you which might ask you to commit these crimes. Momentary advantages of money are not worth ruining another person's life. Such sins cast very long shadows not just in this world but also in the next world.
He will avenge the injustices that I have suffered in my life and my mother's murder; I believe in His mercy and His wrath because I have seen it fall on people.
He is the ultimate justice giver and we can only reach out to Him to avenge ourselves when we cannot avenge ourselves.
The tales of Sufi's are filled with God's vengeance rained upon those who thought He is hidden in heaven and they would get away with their sins upon others;
Therefore we must strive to be humans and not greedy pigs!
May Allah grant us the power to listen to our conscience over our greed!